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How I Almost Lost My Wife To The iPhone

June 3, 2009

Apple-LogoIn the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and all that is within them. He created man to rule over this creation and to take dominion over all that had been laid before him. God created woman to be man’s partner and together His intention was for them to go forth and multiply and enjoy what He had provided.

At first there was no shame, no fear, no worries. Together they named the animals and lived peacefully with the lion and the lamb. Truly it was paradise. Then enters temptation, in the form of a serpent to lure them into disobeying their creator. Eve was first to give in but man was not far behind. Scripture is not clear on the type of fruit the serpent used to bring down the fall of man but legend suggests it was an Apple.

Fast forward to the twentieth century, and a new temptation for mankind appears, roughly around 1976 an upstart company was created now known as Apple Inc. Ironically their logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. As the company developed they created computers that were user friendly and worst of all, appealing to the eye. Like Adam and Eve our household did not give in to the temptation of this Apple right away. It wasn’t until 1998 that we took our first bite. Moving thru time with the G3, the egg shaped IMac, then adding a powerbook we succumbed to the lure of the forbidden fruit. This apple that we had bit into was not satisfied. It created new products ever more alluring and again we gave into the temptation of the upgrade.

Now it was replacing the G3 with a G4, tossing out the eggy IMac for a flat panel version, handing down the laptop so the new G4 powerbook could take its place. But the beast was not satisfied, it kept creating new temptations. Along came the IPod, then the Macbook Pro and before our very eyes appeared the Macbook Air. The Macbook Air, so sleek and slim and virtually weightless calling out like a siren on the shore, luring us once again into the depths of the Apple store. We had become addicted to the knowledge these products brought into our home.

Then as we adjusted to being in the power of the Apple logo, the IPhone appeared. At first our will power was strong and we resisted. But then as if it knew we were strong it attacked from every side. Ads would appear in the magazines we read, people we knew who had never bitten the Apple began showing off their new purchase, even our daughters friends showed up in our kitchen carrying this latest temptation. Finally as many before us we succumbed and my wife got an IPhone.

At first it was fun, checking the weather all over the world, looking up word definitions during family discussions, writing out the grocery list then checking items off as they fell into the cart. Then I began to notice that everywhere we went, no matter what we were doing she had the IPhone with her. She would stop in mid sentence to look something up or if you mentioned the weather she woudl look to her phone and tell you the temperature, not only here but in Hong Kong, New York, and Bangledesh. At Christmas she spent her time with her sister swapping new downloads and discovering new uses for this machine that was taking over her life.

Then one early morning,the morning of New Years Day, before the alarm had chimed or the sun had thought about appearing over the hilltop, I awoke to a strange sound, like a metallic swoosh that came from somewhere in our room. As I opened my eyes I listened, was this a burglar sneaking into our home? Slowly I rolled from my side to my back and there sitting up beside me was my wife, on her IPhone, the glow of the phone lighting the room. I said, “What are you doing?” She replied, ” Did you know the ball that was dropped in Times Square weighs 11,875 pounds and is lit with 32,256 LEDS?” I sat up thinking my God this thing has taken over her life, how I am I ever going to bring her back from the dark side. It was then that I noticed in the glow of the light from the IPhone a gleam in her eye as she sit it aside and said, “Happy New Year”

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